Paying It Forward

I’ve had a pretty rough life. Treated poorly by a step-father, a social outcast in public school, not very many friends in high school and plagued with self-confidence issues throughout my early adulthood. It’s hard to admit sometimes, but I suppose that admitting your problem is the first step to recovery.

My life in the last 5 months has improved dramatically. I have a wonderful job, a great family and some pretty cool friends. In short, I’m living the sort of life that I’ve always wanted: a personally and professionally satisfying one.

What does all of this have to with “Paying It Forward”? Actually, alot. I always treat people with respect, regardless of their social standing, their faults and their weaknesses. We all have them, Lord knows I do too.

(Note: What follows is not an attempt to toot my own horn. I don’t have a horn, and even if I did, I don’t think I would want to toot it. The tenant upstairs wouldn’t be happy about it.)

On Sunday, on my return trip an errand, I decided to stop at a Tim Hortons (Bayview and 16th Avenue, Richmond Hill, ON) to grab a coffee. As I waited in the drive through line up while the staff confirmed my order, I noticed sitting in the vehicle a woman who looked somewhat sad. It also occurred to me that she looked very much like Kristin Davis (”Charlotte York” on Sex and the City). It dawned on me this particular woman might be having a rough day, and might need something to make herself feel better. I pulled up to the window and paid the gentleman for my coffee. When he returned with my change and my coffee, I told him I wanted to pay for the woman behind me. The look on his face was that of complete shock. It’s almost as though I had sprouted wings, spoken in 10 different languages all at once and performed open heart surgery right there in the driveway. He was so shocked he actually asked me if I was serious. I told him, yes, I’m serious, I’d like to pay for the person behind me. He told me the total (2 dollars and change) and asked me if it was ok. I handed him a 5 dollar bill and told him that’s fine.

I drove out into the parking lot, and I decided to stick around for a minute to stick around to see what kind of reaction I would get from the surprised woman who had just received a free coffee and bagel. She drove around and tried to see if she would recognize me, which of course, she didn’t. Naturally, her curiosity was piqued by this complete stranger who had bought her something.

I was watching all of this, and decided to head her off as she pulled up to my car. I rolled down the window and she thanked me, to which I replied, it was my pleasure. End of story right?

As I drove down the road ahead of her, I was thinking about why she looked so sad. Little did I realize she was trying to catch up to thank me again this time in the middle of traffic. I asked that we pull over so that we can talk without holding up traffic.

What followed was the most interesting story I’ve ever heard. Marcia (or Marsha) told me that her mother died 4 years ago to the day of cancer, which in its own right, is an awful thing (my step-father died of cancer as well). She spoke about her mom, herself, and many other things in the 10 minutes that went by. I didn’t say too much out of respect for her. What struck me as interesting was that she had a picture of her mother with her in the car. We introduced ourselves at the end of the conversation, shook hands and parted ways.

As I drove down the road, I wondered if I would ever see her again. Something tells me that I won’t.

I’m always going to remember the stranger I met that chilly June day, the one that really opened my eyes to the reality that paying it forward always has great dividends.

If you are Marcia (or is it Marsha), or a friend of hers and this story rings a bell, please get in touch with me. It would be wonderful to hear from you again.

Posted By: Justin Kozuch
Posted On: June 5th, 2007
Posted In: General, Ruminations
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